In case you haven’t heard the good news, Los Bastardos - Dallas/Fort Worth’s Rocky Horror Experience - is once again holding open auditions and recruiting for our merry band of misfits. We need blood. New blood. And fresh meat. BWAHAHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

*ahem* That is to say, we are looking for new cast members.

The qualifications are simple enough.

1 You have to be at least 18 years of age, That way there’s no question as to whether or not you are a legal adult when your mom complains about how you spend your weekends or the cops come to investigate rumors of a "little girl" dancing in her underwear.

2 You must have have your own reliable form of transport. Your mom’s/dad’s/boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s/roommate’s/anybody else’s car is not good enough. Fort Worth Mass Transit might be considered reliable, but do you really want to take the bus in your costume?

3 You must be available every Friday and Saturday from 11 pm until we’re done with you. Fridays we rehearse. Saturdays we perform. If you can’t be here for rehearsal, you don’t get to perform and if you can’t be here for the performance, there’s no point in rehearsing.

4 You must be joining the cast for reasons other than trying to get laid. You’d think this would be a no-brainer, but after having someone tell me outright that he was only interested in joining because he heard Rocky girls were total sluts... well, I was torn between laughing at the idiot or letting the ladies inform him of how very wrong he is after several weeks of pain and humiliation. I decided on laughing, simply because I didn’t want to have to help hide another dead body this year.

5 You must not be stupid or at least be stupid in a productive and funny way. Because if we can’t get a use out of you, you’d damn well better be able to make us laugh. See 4 for an example of how stupid is too stupid.

Seriously, if you would like to join the few, the proud, the not going to finish that statement lest we be sued or roughed up by the USMC... please send an e-mail to our director, Madame Leah.

my buddy n’ i are interested, but i dont think i could get my boss to schedual me fridays n’ saturdays off every week, but ya never know

do you REALLY want me on cast again?!?!

I imagine it’s a difficult commute where you are....

nope, just moved back about a month ago!!!

been a bastard.

gwen made me play brad for a few months
back in the day.

but hey, what the hell is so wrong with doing some activity
cause you think you might get laid?
now rocky girls aint exactly slutty,
but they aint exactly the run of the mill
girls you run into in the outside world
neither.

so if you’re into free-thinking, humorous, attractive,
and independent minded women, why the hell
would you NOT go to where they happen to hang out?

THAT sounds like a no brainer to me.

As soon as you guys are casting again, I’d be more than happy to join up. ^-^

Yes, I’m legal. (19 &1/2) Plus, I have my own car! Yay? :D

Just let me know when, mmkay?