The Legend of Cthuhlumas







Twenty miles South of Bethlehem in the backdune village of Piss a woman and her husband riding a giant chicken went door to door looking for a place to spend the night.



Most of the villagers didn't even bother opening their doors; mostly because they were afraid of the giant chicken and so the husband and wife went door to door in search of anyone that would take them in.



After what seemed like hours, the husband and wife finally came to one of the largest hovels in the village and a massive bear of a man answered the tattered sheet that served as a door. The man looked at the strangers closely, and looked to their strange giant chicken.



The man furrowed his massive eyebrows, "Mighty big chicken you got there."



The woman smiled, "Yes, we used to have a big cock too, but we got hungry so we ate it."



The man sighed and shook his head, "Terrible way for a cock to go."



"Its not so bad once you get used to it."



The man looked to the woman, to the chicken, and to her husband who was riding the chicken, "I'm guessing you three are looking for a place to spend the night?"



The woman smiled pleasantly again, "Yes, my husband is pregnant and will be giving birth any moment now."



At this the man paused, "Wait, what?"



The woman only continued to smile, finding nothing strange about the words that just fell from her lips, "Yes, God has touched my husband in the way priests tend to touch small children and now he is about to give birth to the savior of this world. It is truly a miracle!"



Her husband only moaned in agony while the giant chicken pecked the ground aimlessly.



The man looked to the woman, her husband, and the giant chicken once again. In the back of his head he could hear a tiny voice telling him that he should just send them on there way, and make sure that there way was as far away from him as possible. But then his eyes gravitated back towards the woman's breasts. They were very nice, and round, and big. Her face wasn't that bad either. Thinking with the head between his legs, he decided to let them stay, "Alright, I think I have some room here for you three. You can stay in the house, but your husband and the chicken have to stay in the stable…you know with him about to give birth and all, stables are good for that. Lots of soft straw to lay on…straw is good for um giving birth and things…"



The woman smiled, "That sounds perfect! Thank you so very much!"



With that being said, the man lead the woman's husband and the giant chicken into the stable. The man appeared to be in too much pain to notice what was going on in the world around him and in a distant part of his mind, the man felt bad. But then the woman touched his arm and his second head took control again.



The woman smiled a nefarious smile, "Come, I have many things to tell you about our journey and the new Saviour that will be soon entering our world!"



The man smiled a smile that was nefarious for different reasons, muttering under his breath, "Oh there will definitely be coming all right, and lots of entering too."



The woman lead the man into the house and showed him the wonders of the Universe found inside her flesh. The man didn't mind.



As his wife was "instructing" the less than good Samaritan on the wonders of the Universe, the husband was continuing to writhe in agony. As it turns out, men weren't built for having babies. Oops.



Sweat beading on his brow, the husband looked up to the sky and watched in steadily growing horror as the stars one by one disappeared from the night sky. Soon all that was left was a blanket of unending blackness save for one pin prick of unlight that seemed to be growing.



As the rift in reality grew, the man could hear ghastly noises and felt that he was being watched; being watched by whatever opened the rift in the sky above him. A fresh wave of agony caught him off guard and the man screamed. He could feel whatever it was growing inside him start to move, as if it could sense the portal.



A few moments later, the woman ran out of the house, completely naked and looked up at the sky. She smiled in chaotic delight, "The time has come…"



Struggling to put his pants back on, the man ran outside and followed the woman's gaze to the empty sky above them, empty save for the steadily growing rift in reality above them, "What the!?"



The woman turned to the man, her eyes wide with insanity, "The time has come! The three kings are welcoming our Savior into the world!"



As the man watched the sky above him, he could feel his sanity beginning to shatter. Finally, his eyes were drawn away by the growing horror in the sky by a blood curdling scream. After a few moments there was a sickening popping noise, and a sudden end to the screaming.



The woman ran to her husband and the man was not stupid enough to follow her. After a few moments, the woman returned carrying something small and undulating in her arms.



Whatever was left of the man's sanity finally left him the moment he laid eyes on the small creature cradled in the woman's arms. The creature appeared to have the head of an octopus, the body of a frog, but the wings and claws of a dragon. The man screamed and ran off into the night.



The woman smiled, tenderly holding the small demon in her arms, "Welcome to the world Cthuhlu. Soon the human race will be a faint memory."



As the woman held the newborn demon in her arms and as the man ran screaming through the streets, the three kings: Cthuhlu, Yog Sothoth, and Azagthoth slipped into the realm of the physical for a quick bite to eat. In a matter of seconds the village of Piss was just a memory and all that remained was the naked woman and the small bundle of chaos she held in her arms.

:D

i is teh awesome as is cuthuhlu