After seeing "An Inconvenient Truth", I admit, I was a little worried. Al Gore seemed to reveal astounding evidence that the collected carbon gases in our beloved earth's atmosphere was finally taking its toll on every glacier, thermometer and polar bear in the land. You can't argue with a PowerPoint presentation that requires a lift, you just can't. But just before I leave my apartment and drive with a tube sock over my exhaust pipe to the local dealership so I can make a down payment on a civic hybrid, I saw something that changed everything. Noticing that the new "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" trailer was out, I just had to check it out. First I see that, despite his predicament at the end of the 2nd movie, Jack Sparrow is alive and well. Even though Bruckheimer believes that oil drillers are NASA's number one plan to stop an incoming asteroid, I knew he wouldn't kill off the reason people actually saw these movies. So that was no shock, but then later on the trailer I see something astounding, something that discredits global warming entirely. We now have video footage that proves that the earth is flat! Though they call it the more dramatic "Worlds End", we clearly see the ship sailing to the edge of the earth and it's just as horrifying as Columbus imagined. So how can we have "global" warming when we're not even a globe to start with? This shows that all of the vice president's crazy 3D drawings and cherry picking PowerPoint presentations are all simply a melodramatic attempt back into the Whitehouse. I knew something was up when I saw him at the Oscar's. Al made an attempt to announce his announce his plans to run until the music played him off with almost humorous timing. And come on, who are you going to believe, Magellan... or Captain Jack Sparrow? I think I've made my point. Mr. "Use to be Next President", I know it must sting, being discredited by the very same Hollywood that gave you your second wind and we know you aren't very familiar with disappointment, but as that over used cliché will tell you, that's showbiz.

And yes, I know I misspelled Inconvenient, so no need to tell me I'm an ass, I was already aware.