i'm at a crossroads with music. i have all these songs to record from the past, but do i want to do that? i am not that person anymore. even though these songs are good, why revist them? just for the sake of having them on record? at the same time, i can't write anything new. what do i have to say? i'm not miserable anymore. the things that bug me sound whiney when i put them into song. why should i be discussing what bugs me in a song? shouldn't i just keep it inside, think about it and deal with it? the world doesn't have to hear about things. and telling stories through songs? i did that on "a more colorful..." why do it again?

i have no clue where to take this project. i have no inspiration, i have nothing to say anymore. i locked all my guitars and anything that i can play or record on away. i plan on not taking them out at all for a very long time.

i don't want to keep on just for the sake of keeping on. that's the good thing about not doing music for a living: i can stop when i want to and i don't have to worry about pleasing the record company. i know i may have just reached my artistic limit. maybe that there is nothing left in me musically. maybe i used it all up and what you hear is what you hear. "the juniper tree" is the newest song of mine that i've recorded and that was a year ago. that song was about dying and leaving behind everything. it leaves some hope in it saying that "yes i may come back someday if you bury me under the juniper tree" but who knows if it works. i just may be dead and that's all. maybe that song has more meaning these days than it ever did. maybe this is the end.

with all of this said, i am left with nothing other to say than that as of today, thursday april 13, 2006, belsapadore will be placed on permenant hiatus. how long will this last? maybe just a few months, maybe a year, or maybe this is the end. i can't tell.

thanks for listening. you'll hear from me someday.

-justin